Is This Turning Into a Dream Journal?

I think I had my first lucid dream, sort of.  I was being chased by this slime monster/little girl, and it was much more horrifying than it should of been, when all of a sudden, I realized how lame my dream was and shouted "Okay subconscious, this is lame! I want something better!"

An old car pulls up, like the kind old people drove ten years ago, and Betty White is driving.  "Get in!" she yells.

"Well, this is more like it!"

Look, a crappy photoshop, except I did it in MS Paint!

Weird Dream Again

In a shop in the mall, they are sell a special new xbox controller made especially for movies, with only one button.  They show movie clips on the in-store screen, and it's a new Mel Gibson movie, where he's fighting terrorism.  "We have to burn ALL the Korans," he says, pouring kerosene. The rest of the clips are comprised entirely of Gibson running from explosions.

I bet that crazy bastard would totally make this film, given half the chance, racist madman that he is.

Summertime Farmers' Market

What's the best thing about summer? The Farmers' Market! Check out some foods with local ingredients.

The first strawberries and cherries of the season!  

Sammich!

My First Fan Mail

I sent this letter to Jerry Holkins, AKA Tycho of Penny Arcade on February 19 of year.

Dear Mr Holkins,

I am a long time fan of Penny Arcade, and there is a character I haven't seen in a while that I'm a little worried about: your cat.  Was it based on a real cat?  If it was in the comic in the late nineties, it must be pretty old these days, if it is still alive at all.  My condolences if this is not the case, and apologies for bringing up the death of your (possibly fictional) pet.  I must confess I'm not a regular reader of the news posts, and you may have mentioned this already.  I would be extremely grateful if you could assuage my fears as to the well being of this historic Penny Arcade character. 

Thank you for your time,

Noelle Stoffl

This is the comic from March 5:

Are these two events related?  I have no idea!



Penny Arcade is obviously copyright its creators, with thanks and apologies from yours truly.

Burn It All, Especially That Prim Fucking Douchbag Sauntering Cat

Right after Mark proved that our smoke detectors don't work with a huge pot of blackened, nearly flaming rice, Sam burnt rice in our other pot.   Our house smells bad, and we're going for takeout.

Edit: as our first FOUR restaurant choices were closed, we went and got pizza at Talarico's.  I don't eat cheese. Guess how much I love when we go out for pizza.  On the way home after we picked up our slices, a cat runs out in front of us, in Aaron's effort to save this prim fucking douchbag sauntering cat's stupid, smug life, Aaron breaks abruptly, causing our pizza to fall out of the damn box and onto the filthy filthy floor.  I have opted to not eat dinner tonight.

Mushroom Flavor Vermicelli (Bean Thread)

I had another ramen for lunch today.

I get this brand a lot because you don't actually have to cook them, you just pour hot water on them and let them sit.  They are Ramen Tea!

The flavor comes in two packets, one of powder, and one of oil and onions.  After you pour the water, cover and let sit for three minutes.

Glass noodles are weird.

noelle: SAMANTHADON PROWLS THE EARTH IN SEARCH OF SUNSHINE AND COFFEE

Samwise: Went into the store and left phone in car

Ha

noelle: SAMANTHADON PROWLS SHOPS IN SEARCH OF PURCHASES

SAMANTHADONS ARE EVEN MORE FIERCE WHEN THEY HAVE YOUNG TO PROTECT

DO NOT HARRASS ANY WILD SAMANTHADONS YOU MAY FIND

sorry, turning off my caps lock now...

Sent at 12:31 PM on Thursday

noelle: I just have this image of you as a sort of Disneyfied dino, wondering Alki in search of coffee

Sent at 12:34 PM on Thursday

Samwise: Hee

noelle: you have a tail!

and vestigial feathers!

and you're stil wearing glasses!

Sent at 12:42 PM on Thursday

Samwise: Yay!

What color am I?

noelle: orange with brown stripes, of course

Samwise: Maybe blue feather tips

noelle: with orange and brown?

you don't think that would clash?

Samwise: Blue is orange's compliment

It would only be a few flecks

noelle: it's its opposite

Samwise: For fancineas

Yep

Opposite = complimentary

noelle: you're hold a coffee cup with both of your little clawed hands, grinning with the delight only a successful predatore can know

Samwise: One shows up well against the other

Blu

Blue orange

Red green

noelle: yellow purple

I do know my color wheel

Samwise: Yes but do u know what to do with it? :P

noelle: that's why we have you :)

Samwise: I kid I kid

noelle: No predator has a better understanding of color than the SAMANTHADON

Samwise: Haha

noelle: she has the nicest lair

Samwise: Lots of them def

Do

Feathers

Edit: This is what I thought when Sam described her "blue tips on the feathers" idea, only my mind id not this crude.

Gears of Tofu!

Make bean curd, not war!

I am pretending that the soy sauce is some sort of lubricating oil, spraying off these cogs of vegetable-based dietary choices as they spin furiously with all their bland, crunchy glory.
I brushed them with sunflower oil and broiled them.  The toasted edges give them a kind of rusted look, or at least I'd like to think so.

We also made gyoza that night, with our gyoza press, which was super fun, but they were'nt as crispy as we would have liked.

Sam's baby is due the 18th of next month, which is now only 21 days away.  Holy crap, there is going to be a completely new and mostly unformed human being in our house very soon.

Bento!

Here's an old bento I did for Aaron, I think it was the first one this semester.

The tofu was cut into shapes, then brushed with sunflower oil and broiled, along with some asparagus and green onions.  The bottom half is just rice with these colored soy papers and some nori cut to look like a flower.  I am so ready for spring!

Here's a close-up of the flower.  It didn't some out nearly as well as I had hoped, and the soy stuff is really curly when it gets damp, but I'm not displeased with it.

The First Step Is Admitting You Have A Problem

I admit it, I am a ramen addict.  I love those MSG laden instant noodles.  When I went veg, I thought I would be relegated to certain brands of "Oriental" flavor, and that was it.  But then I discovered the joys of the Asian Grocery.  There are so many strange and wondrous flavors, so many packages with "artificial chicken flavor (celery.)"  Wheat noodles, rice noodles, even bean thread.  I loves me some noodles.

Check out this lovely number, for example.  You may thinking, "Noelley, that is chicken.  It's not veggie."  To which I reply with the "compositions" list:

That's right, mushroom powder vegetarian diet condiments.  I have no idea how this passed customs, as this plainly does not tell you what's in it.  I had my omnivores taste it first, and none us of thought it tasted anything like chicken.